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"Matt Damon Grimm's Podiatry Diet" is the fifth episode of the Puffin Publishing Podcast.

Recording & Release Edit

"Matt Damon Grimm's Podiatry Diet" was conceived, recorded, and performed by TV's Kevin Lanigan, Joe Konroy, Justin Germeroth, Gabe Levy, and Vern Tooley, featured special guest Elizabeth Ann Swanson, and was released on iTunes and Soundcloud July 1st, 2016.

Sketches Included Edit

  • Matt Damon Grimm Eats A Shoe
  • Kameron Krowe Is An Actual High Schooler
  • Clive Cussler, Captain Phillips
  • The Plot: Kindle Uruk-hai
  • Stephanie Meyer Tells Her Secrets
  • Moons Over Mark-ami
  • The End of the Podcast
  • Last Word with Lin-Manuel Miranda

Synopsis of Sketches Edit

"Matt Damon Grimm Eats A Shoe" Edit

After having lost a bet with his brother Heath Ledger Grimm, Matt Damon Grimm is behest to eat an entire goddamn shoe live in front of a bookstore audience.

Characters featured:

  • Matt Damon Grimm (TV's Kevin Lanigan)
  • Auchtung Booky Employee (Vern Tooley)
  • Audience Member 1 (Vern Tooley)
  • Audience Member 2 (Justin Germeroth)
  • Heath Ledger Grimm (mentioned)

"Kameron Krowe is an Actual High Schooler" Edit

A film trailer announcing a new summer hit starring writer and director Cameron Crowe.

Characters featured:

  • Trailer Narrator (TV's Kevin Lanigan)
  • Kameron Krowe (Gabe Levy)
  • Principal (Vern Tooley)
  • Wait, WHAT? Girl (Vern Tooley)
  • Coach (Vern Tooley)
  • You Get Me Guy (Vern Tooley)
  • Manic Pixie Dream Girl (Vern Tooley)
  • Mick Jagger (Vern Tooley)
  • Anna Kendrick as An Ancient Egyptian (Vern Tooley)
  • Almost Famous Girl (Vern Tooley)
  • Smash Mouth (Vern Tooley)
  • Best 62 Guy (Vern Tooley)
  • On Coke Guy (Vern Tooley)

"Clive Cussler, Captain Phillips" Edit

Whilst he helms a Disney Cruise, Clive Cussler's boat gets hijacked by Somalian pirates.

Characters featured:

  • Clive Cussler (Justin Germeroth)
  • Clive Cussler's First Mate (Elizabeth Anne Swanson)
  • Somalian Pirate Leader (Vern Tooley)
  • Somalian Pirate First Mate (TV's Kevin Lanigan)

"The Plot: Kindle Uruk-hai" Edit

Scholastic delivers an offer of alliance from Random House to the Almighty Kindle Uruk-hai.

Characters featured:

  • Scholastic (Justin Germeroth)
  • Almighty Kindle Uruk-hai (TV's Kevin Lanigan)
  • Random House (mentioned)

"Stephanie Meyer Tells Her Secrets" Edit

Radio hour Good Evening Portland gets deep and personal with acclaimed conservative Mormon author Stephanie Meyer.

Characters featured:

  • Not Important (Joe Konroy)
  • Stephanie Meyer (Elizabeth Anne Swanson)

"Moons Over Mark-ami" Edit

Mark Twain takes a Jewish lady on a date, but as the full moon rises...

Characters featured:

  • Mark Twain/Samuel Clemens (Vern Tooley)
  • Jew Peggy (TV's Kevin Lanigan)

"The End of the Podcast" Edit

Characters featured:

  • Your host, The Cold Infinite Void of Sadness That We Each Stare Into Every Day, Trying to Look Away from its Heartless Center, but We May Never See the Other Side
  • Janeane Garofalo
  • Jarneane Gifafflesparch
  • Harv Melverson
  • Dinkle Petelidge
  • Candy Ass
  • Brie Larson as Captain Marvel
  • Spanish Dan's Manfredd Earth Man Band Mand
  • Apple Tweezers
  • House Man
  • Lamp (now I'm just saying things I can see)
  • Harvey Milkstache
  • Chiwetel Ejiofor
  • Special guest, Elizabeth Anne Swanson as Stephanie Meyer and Clive Cussler's First Mate
  • Don Pardo
  • Musical guest, Davey Jones' Cocker Room

"Last Word with Lin-Manuel Miranda" Edit

Critically acclaimed Broadway virtuoso Lin-Manuel Miranda gives the last word.

Trivia Edit

  • This was Gabe Levy's last episode as a regular member of the Podcast
  • This is the first episode of the Podcast to feature a last word from Lin-Manuel Miranda at the very end.
  • This episode marks the first appearances of Matt Damon Grimm, Kindle Uruk-hai, and Stephanie Meyer.
  • Matt Damon Grimm is named after the actor's performance in the early 00's Terry Gilliam film "The Brothers Grimm." It is another textbook example of the Puffin boys just not wanting to look something up.
  • "Matt Damon Grimm Eats A Shoe" is an homage to the Les Blank documentary short "Werner Herzog Eats A Shoe." Similarly to Herzog, Grimm loses a bet that a project will never get finished saying that he will eat his own shoe if it ever was. Both men then had to eat more than crow.
  • The bookstore's title being "Achtung Booky" is another homage to the podcast U Talkin' U2 2 Me?, which contains a lengthy runner on the pronunciation of the U2 album "Achtung Baby."
  • The Manic Pixie Dream Girl asks if the band Cameron Crowe but with two "K's" is referring to was the band that performed the theme song to Poultrygeist. That band is "Calamari Safari" and the song is called "Mild." This is the third Troma reference on the podcast.
  • This impression of Mick Jagger has been the only time Vern has EVER been able to do a somewhat decent impression of The Rolling Stones frontman. He's tried many times before this sketch and many times after this sketch and has never been as successful as he was here.
  • Anna Kendrick's role as an ancient Egyptian is based on Emma Stone's portrayal as a half Hawaiian/half Chinese character in Cameron Crowe's "Aloha." Vern didn't realize the joke that TV's Kevin was trying to make when he stated that Anna Kendrick was to be playing an Ancient Egyptian, so he did this thing with it.
  • "The Plot" sketches are conceived as Justin Germeroth as Scholastic convincing a new publishing house to join his cause, each one voiced by TV's Kevin Lanigan doing an impression of a minor character from sci-fi and fantasy properties. The Kindle, of course, being played as one particular orc from early on in "The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers."
  • The phrase "pancake titties" is a reference to an unaired Puffin sketch. The Puffin Boys almost always will record a joke that they like, reference that joke in another sketch, and air the sketch with the reference to the first sketch before they air the sketch they were referring to.
  • Case File: TV's Kevin Lanigan as a Meek White Woman #2: Jew Peggy
  • "The Last Word with Lin-Manuel Miranda" began as a running joke on the set of "Get Your Man," a forthcoming web series by TV's Kevin Lanigan. It directly plays on Lin's persona as the most joyous, supportive, giving person in the world. Now he tells you to "go screw."